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26
Oct

Karan Johar is Not a ‘Visionary’ Filmmaker!

Here’s my Vlog to prove why Karan Johar is not a ‘visionary’ filmmaker. Transcript is below the video for those who are interested in reading as a blog.

Hi. This is Ashish Lal.

You know I believe that Christopher Nolan is the greatest visionary filmmaker in the world. Sitting in 2014 he had the vision what would be all around 100 years later – dust, dust and dust. That is why, another Hollywood filmmaker gave broom to Harry Potter to have a cleaner environment 100 years later. That is what I call vision!

And here in India, sitting in 2015, Karan Johar did not have the vision that in 2016, Pakistani artists would be banned in Bollywood. Seriously? Come on! Not even 100 years, just 1 year! That is why Bollywood lags behind Hollywood.

Karan Johar, you need to be severely punished for not being a visionary filmmaker. And after that, punishment, we all can dream that Bollywood would be full of astrologers cum filmmakers, wohoo!

You need to understand what vision is. Let me explain you through an example. In 1996, India gave Pakistan the status of MFN i.e. Most Favoured Nation). That’s called vision.

How is that a vision?

Because we had the vision that in future India’s relationship with Pakistanwill be great!

Future! When?

Just around the corner, about a million light years away, that’s it.

If relation will improve, then what is wrong with Karan Johar’s vision?

What is wrong with Karan Johar’s vision! Saala pseudo intellectual. Bol diya na Karan Johar’s vision is wrong. Samajh mein nahin aata ek baar mein. Saala dhobi ka kutta na India ka na Pakistan ka. Pasand nahin hai baat to ja, chod de desh. Aa jaate hain kahan kahan se. Samajh mein…nahin samajh mein aa raha, nahin samajh mein aa raha. Chal samjha isko, maar, maar saale ko, maar. Aaya samajh mein?

(Translation in English:

What is wrong with Karan Johar’s vision! You pseudo intellectual moron. I told you that Karan Johar’s vision is wrong, that’s it. You don’t get it. You’re like that washerman’s dog who is neither of the ghaat (place where he washes clothes), nor of his house. You’re neither of India, nor of Pakistan. If you don’t like what I say, just leave the country. God knows where such morons come from. You still don’t get it. Beat up this rascal, beat him up. Now you understand.)

Sorry Sir!

Sorry Sir. Aa jaate hain angrezi jhadne. Chal band kar, camera band kar, chal, chal chal.

(Translation in English:

Sorry Sir! Don’t show off your bloody English. Now turn off the camera, turn it off moron!)

19
Oct

Punctuality Through Technology

This is my latest Vlog on YouTube – “Punctuality Through Technology” – with its complete transcript here on my blog. You can also choose to view captions in the video also if interested.

Hi. I am Ashish Lal.

There are many people in this world who are frequently late and are always ready with genuine excuses. This video is not to lecture them or to convert them into punctual beings. We’ll talk only to those who want to be punctual but somehow cannot be.

We’ll cover two aspects here:

  1. Using technology, how we can be on time
  2. The flaw in time calculation because of which many people get late

Let me explain how to use technology through an example. suppose you’re traveling within the city of  Mumbai and you’ve to go from Andheri West to The Taj Mahal Palace in Colaba. The first thing to do is to open Google Maps on your laptop or mobile. In Google Maps, you can choose different modes of transport such as car, train, your long legs, cycle or airplane. You can also choose if you need to go via a certain place – they’re called ‘stops’. Suppose you’re traveling by car. Select your starting point and your destination. You can see the time it would take based on the average traffic condition on that day, during that time. Choose when you’d like to leave – you can select not just that day but other days as well.

Now you know approximately how much time it would take. Is that enough to always be on time? No! To be on time, try to be before time. You must give yourself buffer time considering unforeseen circumstances. A thumb rule that works most of the time for me is: if you’re travelling to a place that would take 30 minutes or less to reach, take 10 minutes buffer time; for 60 minutes or more, take 30 minutes buffer time i.e. plan such that you reach 30 minutes before the scheduled time. Believe me, you probably will never reach 30 minutes before – you’ll either reach 10 minutes before or just in time.

The best part about reaching beforetime is that you are calm throughout the travel; you’re relaxed when you reach there and you’re confident during the meeting. Would you like your meeting to be something like this: “Sorry Sir, main late hoon”. Reply in another character – “Late ho! Jab dekho to late late karte rehte ho. bada maza aata hai na Letne mein. Naughty boy, huh!”

Spend your waiting time by responding to important mails, reading ebooks, listening to audio books or just meditating while sitting – but in any case, don’t be upset. If you belong to cultures where punctuality is a big issue, trust me, you cannot afford to get upset every other day.

The second topic is why people who want to  on time, get late. I’ve observed this over the years – the sense of time is not right in many people.  They calculate time as if they wear underwears outside their pants – Superman you know! For example, if I’ve to go to my Uncle’s place in Kharghar, Navi Mumbai from my home in Andheri West mumbai via local train, almost everybody would say that I’d reach in about 1h30 or 40m at max because the train takes 1h20min and it’d take about 10 min or so to reach the station. Do you know how much time it takes – about 2h 10m. Why such an error in calculation? Because you think that just like a Superman, you’ll take zero time in going down your apartment to the road, then waiting to get an auto rickshaw to the station, walking from where the auto guy leaves you to the ticket booking counter to book your tickets, then to the platform where you wait for a train, then when the train reaches Kharghar station the waiting time for auto rickshaw and then the travel time from Kharghar station to my Uncle’s place. Somehow missing these steps is the primary reason why most people always give wrong time for reaching, especially to a place where they do not go frequently. Adding these steps will also solve one of the popular myths that even during normal traffic conditions, it takes longer to travel by car than by train in a city – most of the time, it doesn’t.

You need not be harsh upon yourself if you come across a situation which is beyond your control and you get late. If your intention and methods are right, situations like that will be rare.

So let’s do a wrap up:

  1. Use Google Map on your laptop or mobile to see the exact time of travel
  2. Give yourself buffer time
  3. Be prepared with something to do in case you have to wait for long
  4. Don’t miss steps when calculating time to reach a place

Every single person loves the trait of being punctual, if not in them, for sure in others. Punctuality is the basic tenet of professionalism. You might be the best in your work but if you are not punctual, you have a serious characteristic of being an unprofessional. “Sir, you’re late?” “What? I’m successful, so I can be rude, arrogant and unpunctual. You need my time and not the other way around. So I can be late. Ok? Huh”. If given a chance, nobody would want to work with people who’re regularly late.

Not just at work where money and career are involved, we should be punctual even when we’re doing a project for free or meeting may be a friend or boyfriend – girlfriend or just anybody, even if it is just for fun.

Being punctual shows that you respect the other person’s time. Everybody, each and everybody in this world, irrespective of who he or she is, deserves that respect! When we respect time, time respects us!

I hope you have a respectable time all your life! Hope this helps. Stay happy, stay blessed! Thank you!

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Ashish Lal (http://www.ashishlal.in) is an Actor-Writer-Director based in Mumbai, India.

In 2007, he founded a film production house – RedAsh Films Pvt. Ltd. (http://www.redashfilms.com) which operates from Andheri West, Mumbai.

Before venturing full time into films, he has worked for 4 years in the corporate world in New Delhi in the Data Analytics domain.

He has done his B.Tech. in Civil Engineering from IIT Delhi.
————————————————
Social Media Presence:
1. Facebook Page – https://www.facebook.com/AshishLal.Red
2. Twitter – https://twitter.com/RedLal
3. Blog – http://www.ashishlal.in/blog
4. YouTube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUm4…
5. Quora – https://www.quora.com/profile/Ashish-…

15
Sep

9MM Program to Become Your Best Self

This is my new Vlog on becoming our best self by using the 9mm program. This has been uploaded on youtube. Embedding it here on my blog with the complete transcript of the video in case someone wants to read it as well.

 

TRANSCRIPT OF THE ENTIRE VIDEO

Hi. This is Ashish Lal.

Today we’ll talk about how we can become our best self by investing only 9 minutes daily. I call this 9mm program i.e. 9 minute mentorship program. Why do I call itmm, and not 8 mm or 12 mm? Just to show that it takes less than 10 minutes to analyze and plan a day in such a way that it makes you become your best self eventually. The focus should always be to improve and change ourselves, not others. So that is what we will do today.

Why is it a mentorship program? Who is the mentor here? The one who understands you the most! Your parents, siblings, partner, best friend, teacher, Boss? No, it’s YOU! Because ‘you’ understand yourself in and out. You understand yourself completely. Yes, you should take feedback and ideas from others, but finally it is you, who can change yourself by becoming your own loving but a very strict mentor.

So what do we do in a 9mm program? We spent less than 10 minutes daily to analyze that day and then plan the next day.

Let us talk about the planning bit first. 

So what should be the order of things? Ever heard of The Pareto principle? It states that, for many events, roughly about 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. Here also you’ll find that 20% of your activities account for 80% of your results.

So should you start with the least important task first, finish it and then peacefully do the big tasks? The answer might sound counter-intuitive but it is given beautifully by Brian Tracy in his book “Eat That Frog”. After a lot of research, it has been found that all, almost all extremely successful people, start their day with the most important work and then end the day with the least important work.

Importance is judged by the effect it has on your life – remember those 20% of the activities that cause 80% of your results? Those are the most important ones. That’s the way you need to plan – from the most important to the least important, and in that order.

There might be cases where you’ve a dance class and dance class does not fall in the most important category. What do you do then? Use common sense. After the dance class is over, do the most important task. Simple!

Not let us talk about the 2nd part of the 9mm Program – the analysis bit.

You can be dishonest with everybody but you cannot be dishonest with yourself. Yes, your mind rationalizes and gives you false reasons as to why you’re always right, but at least while you’re analyzing daily, try to be really honest.

Analysis is simple – you just need to flashback the day in your head and see what you did right, what you did wrong and where you could have improved. Once you know what you did wrong and where and how you could have been improved, you can plan your next day accordingly, so that you do not commit the same mistakes again. That is why analysis for that day is to be done before the planning for the next day.

Analysis can be not just of work, finances or relationship related stuff, it can be of anything. Whichever area you want to be better at, you can analyze that. For example, if you’re deep into spirituality, you can analyze the day by analyzing whether you were mindful, at what times you were not mindful, your attachments towards living, non-living things, your attachment towards emotions, whether there was acceptance in your day or not, whether you were trying to hold on to objects, or people or a particular emotion, and so on and so forth. Analysis helps everywhere – material, spiritual and everything in between.

One very important tip is to WRITE – write the analysis and the planning, not just think in your head – it doesn’t work like that. My suggestion is to get used to soft copies instead of paper. Not only does it save paper, but it is also accessible anytime, anywhere.

The next day delete the previous day’s to-do list and analysis. It is not a very good idea to keep every day’s analysis like a diary – just let go of the past, learn from it, and then move on to the present moment of the present day.

The best app for laptop and mobile is Google Keep. You can Download it on laptop and mobile, sync it using the same Gmail id and use it wherever you want to. If you’re comfortable writing on mobile, you can write there; if you’re comfortable writing on laptop, you can write there. In Google Keep, you can write as a normal textpad or as a list. When you are doing the analysis, use the normal textpad mode and when you are doing the planning – writing the to-do list – then use it as a list.

So, to sum it all up:

  1. Download Google Keep and sync it both on laptop and mobile
  2. Before sleeping, give 9 minutes to analyze that day and plan the next day
  3. Next day in the morning, give 2 minutes to see the list once again
  4. Now as you go on doing different tasks throughout the day, keep checking the checkboxes.

Do one task, check a checkbox. Using the ‘reward’ concept explained by Charles Duhigg in his bestselling book “The Power of Habit”, it can be concluded that when you check a checkbox, you feel rewarded. Because you feel rewarded, happy hormones are released. Because happy hormones are released, brain likes it. It motivates you to stick to completing other tasks as well. So just a simple activity of checking the checkboxes can make you develop a powerful habit of doing the right thing at the right time daily. Isn’t that wonderful?

Try following this 9mm Program for at least a couple of weeks. If it doesn’t help you make remarkable changes in your life, you can always switch back to your old ways. But trust me, it’s definitely worth a try. Hope this helps. Stay happy, stay blessed! Thank you!

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Ashish Lal (http://www.ashishlal.in) is an Actor-Writer-Director based in Mumbai, India.

In 2007, he founded a film production house – RedAsh Films Pvt. Ltd. (http://www.redashfilms.com) which operates from Andheri West, Mumbai.

Before venturing full time into films, he has worked for 4 years in the corporate world in New Delhi in the Data Analytics domain.

He has done his B.Tech. in Civil Engineering from IIT Delhi.
————————————————
Social Media Presence:
1. Facebook Page – https://www.facebook.com/AshishLal.Red
2. Twitter – https://twitter.com/RedLal
3. Blog – http://www.ashishlal.in/blog
4. YouTube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUm4…
5. Quora – https://www.quora.com/profile/Ashish-…

3
Jun

Myth busting secrets about IITians

Originally answered by me on Quora – https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-of-the-facts-about-the-IITs-that-only-IITians-know/answer/Ashish-Lal-5?__filter__&__nsrc__=2&__snid3__=113051058

 

  1. AVERAGE STARTING SALARY PACKAGE IS NOT 30–40 LAKHS PER ANNUM, IT’S MUCH MUCH LOWER: Yes, there are few who are offered over a crore as their first salary but the average (excluding the extremely high and extremely low salaries – yes, that’s the statistically correct way to find the average) is pretty normal. I passed out in 2005 from IIT Delhi and while there were students placed at 50 lakhs package, do you know what the average salary was – 4 lakhs only! My starting salary was 3.3 lakhs which after 6 months on switching the company became 4.2 lakhs and then after 3.5 years in the same company, it went to about 10 lakhs (that too including bonus). I’m that average you want to know about! Now after 10 years, the average of the starting salaries might have come up to 8–9 lakhs or so.

 

  1. MOST IITians FEEL VERY UNDER-CONFIDENT IN FRONT OF HOT GIRLS OF OTHER COLLEGES: I was the Cultural Secretary in Vindhyachal House. I, with my 3 friends went to meet the Cultural Secretary of Miranda House, Delhi University, for conducting ‘socials’. She was that typical DU tottawearing hot pants and we somehow managed to complete the meeting and finalise the socials. For years, we three boasted about meeting this hottie and getting respected for being an IITian. Later we came to know that they felt so proud of being in the company of IITians and used to boast in front of other girls. Even after knowing this, we remained under-confident and very shy. Recently, at 34–35, I started becoming extremely confident with hot girls, even with the tv and film celebrities (not big ones, don’t know them personally yet, but moderately successful celebrities) but it was not because of being an IITian but because of being content and happy with myself even when alone. When you don’t push too hard for something, it comes to you organically and the process is beautiful. IITians cannot realise this tip while in the college, they’re too shy with girls.

 

  1. MAJORITY OF THE STUDENTS CALL THEIR SENIORS BY THEIR NAMES, PREFERABLY BY THEIR LAST NAMES: Very few IITians call anybody Sir. Even many freshers call the final year students by their name. I was called Lal, not ‘Lal Sir’ by majority of my juniors. However, after I passed out, most of the new batch of juniors always called me Sir, probably because they entered when I was gone so I might have been like an oldie for them :).

 

  1. NOT EVEN ONE-THIRD OF IITians WORK IN THEIR OWN ENGINEERING FIELD: Yes, they prefer going into finance, consulting, software, business (in non-technical fields) and many other career options. Those who’re really serious about their technical field, they generally go to the US to do a MS or a PhD. Only when an IITian goes into a totally unfathomable field like entertainment, people say that you wasted a seat. However, the truth is that if you’re a mechanical engineer and if you are doing anything other than a mechanical engineering job, business or consultancy, you’ve wasted a seat – technically speaking. Personally, I feel ‘jab jaago tabhi savera’ – whenever you realise your true calling, just go for it instead of being entangled in the social pressures of following your formal education. Know that Mahatma Gandhi was a lawyer and if he thought about wasting a seat, we would have probably been slaves for much longer. I know Mahatma Gandhi worked for a greater cause than working in business consulting after doing law, but you know what I mean :).

 

  1. THERE ARE QUITE A FEW GIRLS WHO ARE VERY HOT, SEXY AND OBVIOUSLY BRAINY: It is just a myth that all girls at IITs look ugly. That’s so not true even if we ourselves don’t want to believe it. Now being in the film industry, I know few IIT girls who have won fashion contests and are professional fashion models and actors.

 

  1. IN EXTRA-CURRICULARS WE CAN GIVE A RUN-FOR-MONEY TO ANY INSTITUTE IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY: I remember NSD professors coming to judge our inter-hostel Hindi play competition (9 plays). They were absolutely shocked the level at which the students operated even though there was not a single drama teacher in the institute. All plays were directed by the students themselves without an iota of formal training. Before announcing the results, they expressed this and told very confidently that 2 of these 9 plays are so good that they can be staged as a professional play anywhere in the world! We had two lawn tennis All India top 20 ranked players studying there. We had exceptionally talented dancers, artists et al. Some of them learnt these extra curricular activities at IIT itself and within a couple of years became damn good. The typical image of an IIT guy being boring, studious, with a chashma is not true AT ALL.

 

  1. MANY IITians DRINK ALCOHOL ALMOST EVERY OTHER DAY: Some even smoke weed and other stuff. Very few have also tried banned drugs. I’m not sure about this but I’ve heard that IIT Kgp students, which is situated in a remote area, are the baaps in doing these stuff. Only an IIT Kgpian can tell :D.

 

  1. SUICIDES IN IITs ARE RARE: It is hyped that IITians are so stressed that they commit suicide. In my 4 years stay, I only know of one M.Tech. guy committing suicide. Probably there was one more but he got saved. I don’t know the exact data for all the IITs so please correct me if I’m wrong but my personal 4 years experience says so.

 

  1. IITians WATCH A LOT OF PORN AND IT IS FREELY AVAILABLE ON THE LAN: The institute tries again and again to ban the porn uploaded by students themselves but being the techies, they always find a much better way to get porn. Whatever you do, there is no way you can stop them from accessing a website for more than a few days. They’ll always find a loophole in your best professional method of blocking websites.

 

  1. LASTLY, MOST OF THE IITians ARE NOT AT ALL HAPPY IN THEIR JOBS: Trust me on this, very few IITians love their jobs. They get the respect in the society and the company. They get the pay package most others would die for, but they want to do something else. Most of them feel that not even half of their potential is being utilised and that they’re leading a mundane life not at all full of excitement or intelligence. Most of them dream of quitting their job and doing something of their own. However, tied up in family-status-finance loop, very few do that and even if they do, very few stick to it for a lifetime. Don’t envy them ever, probably you’re leading a much better and peaceful life than most IITians! Eventually what counts in anybody’s life – being happy or being an IITian?

Spread happiness! Stay blessed buddies, cheers!

 

 

24
May

What are the most overrated things in life?

Originally answered by me on Quora – https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-most-overrated-things-in-life-1/answer/Ashish-Lal-5

1. A CORPORATE JOB especially when a woman does it – job is a 20th century invention. Earlier men worked like idiot blind rats all their life in a job they mostly did not like while women did the more aesthetic and fulfilling things like nurturing a life, feeding the entire family, building a home from a house et. al. Now in the race with men, they’ve also become like idiot blind rats. 80% of the men or women who are into jobs literally hate their jobs but the hypocrisy is in behaving as if job makes them somebody superior to those who do not do it such as housewives or those who work project to project only sometimes. Slow down once and think hard – why are you doing a job and is it really worth it, seriously?

2. MARRIAGE & KIDS – getting married and nurturing kids are beautiful things to do if you really want to do it but the compulsive decision to get married or have kids whether or not you really want it is something every person should dwell upon. Don’t just give in to peer or family pressure.

3. FORMAL EDUCATION especially in a professional field – again, if you want to do it, do it but don’t do it just because everyone else does it. You can become greatest of the greats in business, arts, sports etc. without almost any formal education in that field. These days the internet can be a much better teacher for passionate learners than schools and colleges can be.

4. GOOD LOOKS – whether you’re a man or a woman, if the number 1 priority in your life is looking good, if it occupies most of your thoughts in a day, you’ll soon become a dull witted shallow thinker capable of never accomplishing anything substantial in life. Above all, you’ll suffer great pain all your life because firstly, there’ll always be many men or women more good looking than you and secondly, your beauty is inversely proportional to your age. So as you grow older, you’ll mentally suffer a lot. Looking good can be somewhere in the priority list but it should not be an obsession until and unless you’re from a field where that decides what you achieve in life, for example modelling etc.

5. MONEY and the things it can buy – Money is simply great if it is earned through the right means and used for the right purpose. Money is a great servant in that case. The problem arises when you’re so obsessed with acquiring more and more and more money. Then money becomes the greatest master and you a mere slave to it thus getting stuck in a never ending loop of stress, dissatisfaction and arrogance.

6. HOW TO BEHAVE WITH A WOMAN – haven’t you ever heard – “Don’t you know how to behave with a women?” Seriously, what the hell does that even mean? Aren’t women human beings just like men? Aren’t they equal to men? Why the heck then there should be a separate moral code made on how to behave with women? We should learn and teach young ones how to be respectful towards every human being irrespective of gender. When you do that, there is no need of plastic moral or gender codes. Whichever way you behave with that kind of thinking will be beautiful. Morality is set by a bunch of people in that culture in that period and hence differs from place to place and time to time. Humanity never changes. Develop your humanity, not your morality! Your behaviour then with men, women, eunuchs, animals, birds, tress and even non-living things will be simply humane and beautiful!

Never take any major decision in life out of obsession, compulsion, or social pressure. Please do that in awareness, complete awareness. Life itself is overrated. Stay blessed, spread love.

21
May

“Who gave this fine technique called Meditation to the world?”

This question was asked on Quora, I thought of putting my answer (http://www.quora.com/Ashish-Lal-5) here also as a blog post because this question brings out many important points that modern day people would want to know. I don’t know much but will try to express myself in the way I do. Please share your opinion on the same.
—————————————————————–
“Who gave this fine technique called Meditation to the world?”

Meditation is not a technique, it is a way of life. If you were one who observes life carefully, even if you were living alone in a jungle, at some stage of your life, you would ask questions such as how do I seek happiness. Some day you would get the answer that happiness comes from the internal, not from the external.

Meditation is just the journey within, towards the internal, the innermost. The techniques that you call meditation is just a tool to initiate you in that journey. From looking at a dot for sometime, chanting mantras, concentrating at an idol, focusing on breath, on nose or any other million different ways, all are meditation techniques. However, that is not all.

You can yourself form a meditation technique if that helps you silence your mind and turn inwards. Many wise people, thousands of years back, must have devised their own ways. Hence, it is impossible to say who ‘gave’ this technique. Let us try not to look meditation like an exercise or dance form that has has been ‘given’ by somebody.

If you want one line answer to what is meditation, here it is – it is being COMPLETELY focused, through your thoughts-words-actions, every moment of your life on whatever you are doing at any particular moment. It does not matter whether you are talking or writing or sweeping or doing a job or studying or practicing a meditation technique. This is what meditation is, nothing more, nothing less! Meditation techniques just help you get you to that point and then during the later stages dissolve your ‘self’ completely to make you realize that you’re one with everything in the world.

Hope at least some part of what I’ve written can be understood. Keep meditating, probably there’s nothing more serene and beautiful than this! I’m initiated in the journey but the journey is really long, really hope to get ‘there’ one day!

26
Apr

Your best friend is your closest soulmate

I’ve been blessed with many caring and loving friends and relatives. They’re always there whenever u need them and otherwise as well. When passing through difficult phases in my life, they take out time from their busy schedules, call me, listen to me and shower their love. Some say they care, some are not so expressive but u can ‘hear’ that loud and clear.

However, there are times when u really need a lot of time from your well wisher, time to let your heart out, discuss the fear and the deep pain. There have been times when I’ve been into depression and wanted to simply talk to someone and somehow incidentally that day either people do not pick up the call or do not talk long enough because they can’t understand how difficult that momentary phase is.

In all such phases, I’ve had one friend who has given me time, loads of time, time having both quality and quantity. One friend who has given me hours on the phone, for months and years, just to hear me out even though he has always been super-busy in his job, in his 1st and now 2nd novel writing and in his preparations for his highly ambitious future.

I remember that ages back as a teenager when we lived together in a hostel, I was mad at him and shouted at him because of some stupid illogical reason. Obviously I expected him to either shout back or get irritated. I was sitting on my study table and he on his. He stood up, came to me, put his hands on my shoulders and with utmost concern said – “Ashish, please don’t get upset. It will harm you and your health.” I was shocked and ashamed. I still am. It’s been almost 15 years and you know what – nobody in the world has behaved like this ever. After that, though we have had small fights, but I’ve never ever been mad at him. Seriously, nothing can make you a better person than selfless love from others.

There’s an altogether different level of understanding between two guy best friends. Nothing and nobody can match that.

I’m so happy that my closest friend has just got married, got the love of his life, a very honest, loyal and loving lady who will take care of him for life. And needless to say, he’ll be the best husband a woman can ever get.

It is ironical that while I’m very happy, I feel utterly lonely. Leaving after attending his wedding, I’m sitting in a train from Pantnagar to Delhi. My eyes are wet, throat is aching and heart beats have slowed down. Emotions are weird and they show anywhere and anytime, but now I do not stop them from flowing. Today I realize the feeling, owing to possesiveness, love and attachment, a father or a mother or a sister or a brother has when that loved guy from the family gets married. Everybody is happy but at the same time, everybody feels lonely as well, lonely probably because now they cannot just bother him anytime and in anyway.

I know for sure that though I’ll make new friends and relations who would be very loving, but never ever in my life will I have a friend like him who’ll not just care but also give me as much time as he did to listen to my heart when it pained the most. Probably this is life! Nonetheless we will remain best friends for life.

Dear Sanjay, you’ve not just been a friend, best friend or the closest friend, you’ve been my soulmate. But for you, I would have been a broken piece of mess. Thank you bro, you’re the best! I love you!

Ashish Sanjay

13
Sep

Met a dramatic roadside ‘Misri’ Baba 15 minutes back!

15 minutes back while I was walking back home from an audition, a pandit sitting on the road’s pavement in the Sab TV Lane, Andheri West, called me. He said a few things about me (all the generic nonsense) and said that he wanted to have tea. I gave him 10 bucks. Then he made me sit there and tried behaving like BIG B i.e. Big Baba :D.
“Kya naam hai aur kya karta hai tu”
“Ashish naam hai aur actor hoon”
“Bachcha, tu kisko poojta hai teeno bhagwano mein se.”
“Ahhhh, pata nahin, waise recently Shiv ji ko puja tha kabhi kabhi.”
“Achcha bachcha do paththar utha ke de zameen se”
I started picking up.
“Nahin nahin, chhote waale”
I gave him two. He did something and then threw one of them. He then put the stone in his hand and closed it.
“Bachcha ye le dus rupaye wapas. Main to teri aastha dekh raha tha. Ab ye le wo paththar aur ise apne maathe pe laga ke bol Shiv ji ko ki bada superstar banaye.”
I though let the game begin and did that, then returned the stone.
“Ab ye le bachcha, meri muthi se wo Shiv bhagwan ka paththar. He opened his palms and lo and behold, he had a white ‘misri’ (crytallized sugar lump). “Maano to bhagwan, na maano to paththar. Ise le mooh mein aur chaba ja. Agar toot gaya to 40 din ke andar teri zindagi poori tarah badal jayegi aur bade bade superstar se haath milayega tu.”
Misri had to break. Well, it was yummy as always – bachpan ki yaad aa gayi ma kasam! I thought this guy did not ask for money, that’s great but here was the big one.
“Apne purse se paise nikaal, main use badha dunga.”
I did that, gave it to him but keep looking at it throughout – who the hell wanted 500 bucks to become a bloody misri!
“Tere paas paise ki kami hai, ye 500 tu sambhal ke rakh ek hafte to isse kai guna paisa aayega. Ye le rakh. Baba ko kuch nahin chahiye.”
Wow! Great! How come he doesn’t want money! Took the 500 rupees note and with it there was a small black shivling.
“Ise lal kapde mein baandh kar puja kar. 40 din mein teri kismat badal jayegi. Beta, main kal shirdi ja raha hoon. Kitne kilo ghee tu de sakta hai, tere naam pe chadhaunga.”
“Baba, ghar jakar dekhna padega.”
“Nahin nahin, dukaan se khareedunga”
Kyun, ghar ka ghee kya chanda mama se aata hai. “Kitne ka aata hai ghee?”
“1 Kg 500 rapaye ka. Kitne kilo dega beta?”
“Baba abhi khud karze mein hoon, nahin de paunga. Ye lo 50 rupaye, khana kha lena.”
“Rakh ye paise beta, hum siddh purush hain, paise ki laalsa nahin hai.”
I returned the shiv ling with respect – “Baba ye rakhkhiye aap. Main aapke liye dua karunga. Bye bye.”
When I started walking, then this Baba’s greatness showed – “Bahut pachtayega tu. (waited in vain for me to turn back) Arre 2 kilo ghee ke paise to deta ja. (even more loudly as I generally walk fast) Arre 100 rupaye to deta ja, kuch to de de…..”

Ok, so you see all the drama, get entertained, also have a misri – all for free free free – poor guy did a good sales pitch and turned 10 bucks into 50 but made a mistake of asking for too much thus losing whatever he could have got – moral of the lesson: aukat mein raho aur aukat ke hisab se jo mile use sweekaro! Anyways apart from the drama, now I also have a life changing dramatic deadline of 40 days – 23rd October, 2014 – when my life will change drastically. Jai ‘Misri’ Baba ki, Jai Bholenath! 😀

16
Jul

An ‘Honest’ Story

Part of a story I recently wrote; after reading this small part (can’t share anything more, you can fill in the blanks yourself and judge), would you go for this book/movie?

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“My honesty is not dependent upon you – not on whether you give me enough space, not on whether you create good enough environment for me to speak the truth, not whether you are in the loving mode  sometimes or in the revenge mode most of the times, not on the painful situations you create, not on your anger, your provocations, your backstabbing, your manipulations, your mental torture, your politics, your cheating, your lying or your dishonesty…not even on your goodness, your charm, your smile, your soft spoken words or those golden moments.

My honesty is dependent only upon me as I refuse to let my integrity be your football you can play with. I am honest and will be honest come what may. And yes, I used to before but now I refuse to give explanations on my unconditional honesty as well as refuse to listen to rationalizations to your conditional dishonesty. Those who blame others or situations for their mistakes and sins, never get rid of them; if they do, it is only temporary and they all come back and with a bigger bang back into their lives. Though I rarely lie, whenever I do, I and only I am responsible for them, unconditionally, apologetically and shamefully. It is part of my weakness and I deal with it head-on rather than blaming situations, those ‘moments’ or you for it which is so damn easy. You cannot see that I also can blame you exactly the way you do for what you have done to me. You cannot see it because you yourself don’t do it – you never take responsibility, it is always me or someone else or situations or God or destiny though deep within you also know that it is you who should be taking the onus just like I do.

I believe that the greatest of qualities that human beings have had, have always erupted from a basic quality called ‘honesty’. Those who do not have it, die a statistic. And I refuse to be a statistic. It is so simple yet so powerful to be honest, try being so at least with your loved ones if not with strangers. Suddenly the heaviness that you carried since you can remember, will just vanish and the world in a moment will become so beautiful. Yes, it is pretty difficult to be completely honest all the time but trying your best to walk the path of truth is what counts – if you walk, and keep walking, you will definitely reach there one day. Even if you don’t find the ultimate truth, you’ll be miles ahead of those who did not even choose the path of truth. Above all, you’ll be more and more peaceful day after day and that is priceless, absolutely priceless.

You’re, like all others, at the innermost core of yourself, completely untainted and pure – reach out for it, at least try! Be honest, seek truth – I strongly believe that truth liberates, always! Stay liberated, stay blessed and keep rising!”

27
Jun

Heal Yourself and Others – Not Hatred but Prayers

ANGRY? Pray for mental peace of the person you’re angry on.
HURT? Pray for relieving of pain of the other person as no happy person hurts others.
CHEATED? Pray that you get the ability to forgive and pray that the person who cheated you never gets cheated but always receives loyalty.
TORTURED? Pray that the one who did that get into such conditions that the person be happy and satisfied from deep within.
HATED? Pray that the one hating gets lot of love from people around.
EXPECTATIONS KILLED? Pray that the person killing them fulfil all heartfelt expectations from others.
It is not just related to me or you – each one of us have felt these emotions sometime or other in our lives. We all feel that our agonies are the most painful; however, somewhere someone has suffered more pain than us but is much more happier and peaceful than we are. There’s something that they’re thinking and doing different. Instead of fretting and crying on our problems, can we learn something from them? Deep within each one of us wants receive and spread love, wants to get and give respect, wants to feel the peace one derives out of doing good to others. However, some of us can do it, some can’t. It all boils down to reaching as close to that divinity that lies deep within us. How do we do it?
Cleansing the body and mind to prepare ourselves for the process, meditating to reach deep and then actually applying it to pray for others, even for those we don’t like or literally hate the most. Easy said than done but then nothing happens in a day. Sometimes the direction in which we move is more important than the pace at which we move.
When you are revengeful or brimming with hatred, the first person punished is you because of the stress it creates in your mind all the time; also probably you’ll be the one who’ll be punished the most and surely for the longest time. Revenge doesn’t cure the root cause of our psychological pain, prayers do, gradually but strongly.
Prayers are powerful. Definitely pray for people you love but if you want peace and happiness in your life, do not forget to pray for people you hate because your prayers for them will make your hatred die a slow death. And a heart full of love and no hatred is the most peaceful one. Stay blessed, my prayers for you!
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