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April 26, 2015

Your best friend is your closest soulmate

I’ve been blessed with many caring and loving friends and relatives. They’re always there whenever u need them and otherwise as well. When passing through difficult phases in my life, they take out time from their busy schedules, call me, listen to me and shower their love. Some say they care, some are not so expressive but u can ‘hear’ that loud and clear.

However, there are times when u really need a lot of time from your well wisher, time to let your heart out, discuss the fear and the deep pain. There have been times when I’ve been into depression and wanted to simply talk to someone and somehow incidentally that day either people do not pick up the call or do not talk long enough because they can’t understand how difficult that momentary phase is.

In all such phases, I’ve had one friend who has given me time, loads of time, time having both quality and quantity. One friend who has given me hours on the phone, for months and years, just to hear me out even though he has always been super-busy in his job, in his 1st and now 2nd novel writing and in his preparations for his highly ambitious future.

I remember that ages back as a teenager when we lived together in a hostel, I was mad at him and shouted at him because of some stupid illogical reason. Obviously I expected him to either shout back or get irritated. I was sitting on my study table and he on his. He stood up, came to me, put his hands on my shoulders and with utmost concern said – “Ashish, please don’t get upset. It will harm you and your health.” I was shocked and ashamed. I still am. It’s been almost 15 years and you know what – nobody in the world has behaved like this ever. After that, though we have had small fights, but I’ve never ever been mad at him. Seriously, nothing can make you a better person than selfless love from others.

There’s an altogether different level of understanding between two guy best friends. Nothing and nobody can match that.

I’m so happy that my closest friend has just got married, got the love of his life, a very honest, loyal and loving lady who will take care of him for life. And needless to say, he’ll be the best husband a woman can ever get.

It is ironical that while I’m very happy, I feel utterly lonely. Leaving after attending his wedding, I’m sitting in a train from Pantnagar to Delhi. My eyes are wet, throat is aching and heart beats have slowed down. Emotions are weird and they show anywhere and anytime, but now I do not stop them from flowing. Today I realize the feeling, owing to possesiveness, love and attachment, a father or a mother or a sister or a brother has when that loved guy from the family gets married. Everybody is happy but at the same time, everybody feels lonely as well, lonely probably because now they cannot just bother him anytime and in anyway.

I know for sure that though I’ll make new friends and relations who would be very loving, but never ever in my life will I have a friend like him who’ll not just care but also give me as much time as he did to listen to my heart when it pained the most. Probably this is life! Nonetheless we will remain best friends for life.

Dear Sanjay, you’ve not just been a friend, best friend or the closest friend, you’ve been my soulmate. But for you, I would have been a broken piece of mess. Thank you bro, you’re the best! I love you!

Ashish Sanjay

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